:: book bound

So, I find myself suffering from a quarter life crisis, and, truth be told, it's probably been going on for quite some time; I'd say, oh, three years or so.

It's arrival was not planned for since it showed up much earlier than expected - kind of like the friend you can always count on to be late, but then shows up early the one time you need them to be late. It hasn't been warmly welcomed and so far, it's only proven to be the annoying friend that always follows you around asking inane questions. The problem with Quarter Life is that he's asking legitimate questions that have left me wondering if I did myself a disservice by accelerating life the way I have.

Rebellion Postponement: The tendency in one's youth to avoid traditionally youthful activities and artistic experiences in order to obtain serious career experience. Sometimes results in the mourning for lost youth at about age thirty, followed by silly haircuts and expensive joke-inducing wardrobes. (p. 106)

The benefit is that I am not thirty. I have plenty of youth left to experience. The problem is breaking out of the seventy-five year old woman cycle I have found myself in. Go to work. Come home. Eat dinner. Work out. Do some more work. Volunteer time. Go to bed.

I was thinking today about how I've been too hard on myself, discounting all of the things I have done during my so-called youth -- random parties, general tomfoolery, late night street wandering, drives in the middle of the night, etc.

I think where things start to bother me is that all of these adventures stopped after I graduated, and well, I graduated at the stupidly young age of twenty. Youth isn't meant to die at twenty. Hell, it should never die, but that's beside the point. Twenty is not the age in which someone becomes boring and aged. Twenty is only the beginning of life explorations, world discovery, experience hunting, and friendship making.

Four years later and sure, I've gained some valuable work experience and learned a great deal about myself in the process, but the fun just hasn't been the same. It's become very laid back and almost gray. We've stopped having adventures for the sake of having adventures - everyone now is much too focused on their jobs, buying homes and potential marriages. Whatever happened to waiting until our third decade for things such as mortgages and marriage licenses?

I picked up Generation X at the right moment in time, for most every page drips with what I've been feeling lately. Sometimes, I think I was born about ten years too late.